Eavesdropper

CULLED FROM PUNCH

Tribute

It is no news that many Nigerians still believe in African science, with the lessons that the movie makers continually drum in our ears. Thanks to them, we know that it is important to visit a babalawo before going to bed at night. Who knows, some ugly monster might be lurking behind the door and only babalawo’s incantations will help ward off such an unwanted guest. They also remind us about the role babalawos can play in shaping our lives and future by guiding us every step of the way.

But the lollydollywood doesn’t deserve all the credit. Eavesdropper thinks some credit should also go to an oga minister, who revealed the secret behind Nigeria’s poor power supply. As the oga minister gives way to another in a cabinet reshuffle, let’s thank her for opening our eyes to know that evil spirits have been sabotaging government’s efforts to supply power. No wonder our bulbs sometimes dim before going off. Goodbye good oga minister!

Tribute should also go to another oga minister, who knows strike like the palm of her hand. Teachers fell over one another to go on strike under her watch. But lest we forget, eavesdropper would like to call on oga minister to leave negotiation documents behind, after all, strike has not ended and the new oga minister will need a head start.

 Independence Iphones

 While lecturers are on strike and their students are plotting to port to neighbouring Ghana, Nigeria may have concluded plans to take delivery of 53 gold Iphones to celebrate our independence . If the story is true, then eavesdropper will advise that you don’t pass any swift judgment yet. I think the business of negotiating with striking lecturers is not an easy thing. Big-big professors are also lecturers and we know how easily some of them come up with twisting jargons that can confuse politicians. As they say, desperate situations require desperate solutions. So with Iphones that can deliver Internet at the tips of their fingers, politicians and their cronies can bridge any gap that may arise in ensuing discussions. Well, the gold might be necessary to intimidate the learned professors into submission. Abi, why else would the ogas in government be ordering gold Iphones at a time when the future of students is at stake?

Romeo and Juliet

 If you’re tired of the tale of these lovers, eavesdropper is happy for you. Well, eavesdropper has not grown tired of it yet. If there is a word for how eavesdropper feels, it will have to be ‘excitement.’ Our Yoruba Romeo and the Igbo Juliet have been at it for a while and it’s getting messier everyday.

What with the new entrant that has added some spice to a soup that was becoming bland and tasteless. Eavesdropper doesn’t know what to make of the new gele’s comments, but it is suddenly making a lot of sense in this senseless world.

The new gele has told us that Juliet may have been forming good girl all along, because the latest gist is that Juliet had two babies for Romeo- one died, while the other was aborted. Now is time to keep an ear to the ground as more gists may soon roll in. The gele has told us a lot, but she has not told us why Juliet suddenly upped and decided that it was not worth having Romeo’s baby.

Cry-cry baby

Eavesdropper heard that oga patapata cried recently. Yes, your guess is as good as eavesdropper’s, it all boiled down to politics. The gist was that oga felt betrayed and left a meeting in tears. Oga said he was disappointed that somebody he trusted was behind his travails, and we all know how desperate oga is to retain his position. Someone also whispered into eavesdropper’s right ear that oga is considering doing anything to gather the crowd back. The bigger the crowd, the better; after all, politicians deal in numbers.

Talking about making a crowd, it is my pleasure to inform you that a suspected thief has also bought a broom. Steadily, the sweepers are swelling and the grandfather of drama is looming.

Eavesdropper heard that many more suspects will be buying brooms soon and as usual, will forget to get parkers to get rid of the rubbish. People say that soon, the rubbish will rise and overwhelm the sweepers and a torn umbrella will not be any better

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